Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
