Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
