Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
