AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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