Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
