I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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