Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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