I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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