Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
