Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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