chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
