So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
