Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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