Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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