i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
