P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have post one night stand depression
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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