He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
