She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
