Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
