yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Randomize
