I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
