Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
