He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize