Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
