My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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