It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
