My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
