I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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