I look better un-naked...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
