I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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