I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize