O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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