"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
