First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Let's paint friendship bongs
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
