Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
