Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
