Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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