summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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