im about as happy as oj after his trial
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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