You're a womanizer and a bitch.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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