sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize