So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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