Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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