Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
