it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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