Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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