So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
