So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
