yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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