He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
