If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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