Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
