What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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