You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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