Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
