I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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