Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
