ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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