My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
