i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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