I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just google imaged poop.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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