this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
