i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
